I am Brigitte, an Austrian nun, who has lived here in Thailand since 1989.I was born in 1962. When I was a young child, I liked the stories of God and Jesus and I really wanted to be a good human being.When I became 12 I lost my interest and just wanted to have fun like every teenager. When 20, I met Richard. In 1985 my daughter Melanie Sitara was born and in 1987 my son Patrick Elias. We had a good time together but there where two striking events.
My son was born at home and a deep depression followed after his birth for about a month. Every evening I felt a strong fear of death.I feared Richard might die or the kids. It was quite heavy. Later this feeling went away.
When Patrick was 8 months old, Richard's grandmother died and again this fear of deathcame up. It seemed to me people are born and die away and there is no refuge, no onecan escape that. It made me depressed.
My best friend Andrea suggested to me that I go to a Yogacourse with her. Although I was no spiritual person at all I went with her. At the first Yoga session we did I had my first experience of samadhi. After the exercise we laid down to mindfully relax and I felt as if there was a propeller turning in my throat. It felt as if I was lifted up into space. That was overwhelming. Although I hadexperience with drugs nothing was comparable to that feeling. From thatmoment on I became very interested in spiritual matters.

In April 1989 I went to do my first Meditation retreat in Thailand. In those two months of intensive practise I gained some insight into the unsatisfactory, impermanent and non-self nature of our body and mind. This changed my life. I went back to Austria but life there seemed to go on the same oldunwholesome way and I didn't want that anymore. So after two months I went back to Thailand for my next retreat. This time I asked my teacher for permission to bring Richard and the kids with me. The teacher agreed and told me I could become a nun if I liked.That's what I wanted. Going back to Austria I "packed" my kids, some toys and a little money and left Richard, who wasn't able to come with me. I ordained as a nun. My kidsstayed in Thailand for about 9 months. I decided not to disrobe but to stay as a nun forthe rest of my life. Richard really wanted to have his kids back and so I brought themback to their father who since then takes care of them very well.
I try to practise as well as I can, trying to share my experience with other foreign meditators, and I share my merit with my teachers, parents, kids, Richard and all sentient beings.